So this morning we all ended up glued in front of the screen, watching "deadliest animals: Australia".
After my top 10 of places to go to and see, I now have a top 10 things not to do. Or to be more accurate, mostly 10 things to never meet.
I'm really mad at myself for being such a sucker for documentaries, and for staying there watching what I could meet in the near future. What would be interesting from my couch in Connecticut, USA, scares the s* out of me and makes me look under my chair before I sit here in QLD, Oz. 9 out of 10 of the worse animals can be found in Cairns area, where I'm heading to in a couple of weeks, and most of them could be enjoying my backyard's shade right now anyway.
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| Like the fangs? Remember Harry Potter, the scary scene? |
High priority on the funnel spider, "which likes to wander in houses and is very aggressive when spotted or disturbed. Fangs are so long and strong that you may have to take it out from the bitten limb where it stays attached". Seriously? I'm SO calling the exterminator on Monday to come and check our basement.
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| that's right, I'm on a wall. Inside. |
2- have a snake in my house. According to the tele and the internet, brown snakes are shy, but if they feel threatened, they will attack and strike. Several time. Like 8 times in a row. Again: seriously, wild life? And they're known as one of Australia’s most deadly creatures. Now, that's reassuring. They usually come after mice or rats, so I hope that's an incentive that the kids will understand when I tell them not to leave crumbs and cookies behind them in the playroom.
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| Brown snake wondering if he would like to get out of his way and kill you, or not |
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| tiger snake |
4- meet a snake in the wild while camping or hiking. Enough with the local competition, let's enter the olympics of disgusting creatures. The tiger snake is known as one of the deadliest snakes in the world. If you don't get anti venom within 6hrs, or if you're weak, your chances of survival are 50%. Hum, let me think about it, 1 in 2, feeling lucky today, wanna bet? Just to be clear, the specie is protected and if you hurt them in any way, you'll get fined. $4,000 that is.
5- get a skin cancer (did you know that here in QLD we kinda have a world record for skin cancer?). You never know, while I'm out in the bushes, looking for reptiles,...
6- get caught in a fire storm (like #5, nothing related to the documentary, but I thought I'd throw it here because I don't really feel inclined to go there).
7- step on a stone fish while on the GBR. Let's be clear. I am paying good money to share one (happy) day of Nemo's life (that's right, the little guy from finding Nemo). Not to visit Cairn's ER. Apparently, the stone fish spines has no trouble piercing neoprene shoes. Again, a precious piece of info to bear in mind. NO need to spend money on ugly protections that will not save you. Same goes with box jelly fishes. As much as I enjoyed the jelly fishes' special exhibit at Mystic Aquarium, this is as close as I want to get from a stinger.
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| You can't see me! |
8- have an unexpected encounter with a shark. Not a bull shark like those who enjoy swimming in the Brisbane river, I'm talking great white. Knowing that I don't ever plan to go shark feeding, I think it's safe to say that any shark encounter while in the water will be considered unexpected and thus not acceptable.
New studies have shown that the great white have a different strategy when attacking a seal or a surfer. MEANING, wait for it, that the myth of them attacking humans by accident is BS! Let's just not try and test the theory, I really have no interest in proof-of-principle.
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| this awkward moment when you wonder why you put yourself in this situation |
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| I believe I can fly |
9- meet with a crocodile, a gator, or any reptile other than a gecko or a lizard and other than in the zoo. Again, nice record for Oz, with the biggest crocodiles in the world. Affectionally called salties (Aww, so cute). |
| the only way I like my 'gator (Missiessy) |
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| the most feared Taipan! |
10- did I forget to mention something about snakes? Because here, "we" have the record of the most poisonous snake in the world, that's right! The Taipan, that leaves in central Australia (THANKS GOD, I'M SO NEVER GOING THERE!) reaches 2 meters in length and the venom injected in a single bite is enough to kill 100 adult humans. Good to know.
If you'd like to know more, talk to the expert.
Their "did you know" section is kinda cute, almost gives you the exact chemical composition of what will kill you...
