When Australia is (sometimes) just so pathetic...

Life is mostly good for us in Brisbane.
We still have a very limited circle of friends, but at least we have some, and they are really good ones. The city is not fab, but we are starting to have a routine.

We know where to buy the best fresh products, where to have coffee and where to not have coffee, what restaurant we can afford that are worth going to. We have memberships to the QLD ballet and Opera, we know where to take the kids to play on a sunny day, or on a windy one. We have some trails we like, a BBQ spot, and a favorite beach. We have an OK job, good schools, a support system, and people we can count on.

BUT...
I am still baffled, on a daily basis, by the dramatic stupidity and nastiness of some Australians. Of course it's a country: not everyone here is the same, and I'm not pretending to generalize a nation based on some individuals. We're also living in Queensland, that claims to be the clever state, but that's clearly up for debate. Since we arrived, I've met some of the most selfish human beings of all time.
I've had conversations I wish I never had, such as why you shouldn't work full time and get some welfare and tax rebates instead (only applies to parents), why restaurants don't need a kosher menu (says the "gluten intolerant" yet non celiac bitch), why "casual racism" is a thing. I've had students tell me that they would move to Sydney if they were not that many Chinese there (sic).
I've heard people complain that their maid or nanny's family emergencies were poorly timed, and others say that moms who don't want to work after hours should not work at all.

The biggest problem is possibly that some of the most selfish, biggest idiots around here are leading the country and showing example. When Europe is writing one of the saddest page of modern immigration, looking for hundreds of drowned bodies at sea; trying to locate any survivor from the poor souls who tried and failed to cross the Mediterranean sea, Tony Abbott is telling our leaders to do a better job at locking down frontiers and turning boats away to solve the "problem". Put simply, compassion is not a frequent trait in Australians.

One thing I find shocking is that there is little consequence to being a a*hole. One can say whatever they think without being outcasted. It's a free country, mate!

In no specific order, here are possibly my fav' 5 horseshit stories for 2014-2015:

1- Belle Gibson pretends to have cancer on her wellness blog, then takes it back after spending all the charity money instead of giving it. But she takes it back, so it's ok.
Let's interview her in a national magazine (The Women's Weekly), to explain the world that it's not her fault: she didn't have enough toys growing up. Wait, whaaaat??





Read the comments on this blog, it seems that not everyone falls for the tormented act.

The bar was set high already for Australian bloggers, with Jessica A, kindly described after she passed as a courageous and young warrior promoting hope for cancer patients. She was in fact *in my opinion- nobody has to agree* a self centered blogger who promoted useless "natural" remedies to patients who might have benefited from chemotherapy. Her mom died from a breast cancer after Jessica suggested she dropped her regular chemo regimen. Everyone responds to cancer in their own way, and I think it's only human to hope there are things to save you. It's scary. You hear everything and its contrary about treatments and outcomes. Drinking green juice and practicing yoga is a great idea but lying to the whole wide world, stating coffee enemas (WTF is that anyway?!) is the cure while you know that you cancer is progressing and killing you? Jeez, don't write that on a public blog for other people to follow you!

2- We constantly root for drug smugglers. "She didn't know, her dad is a punk" "they've changed". Don't get me wrong, I think that killing someone to punish them in inhumane and absurd. It doesn't sound to me like justice, it sounds like vengeance. Something I would consider doing if some sicko would hurt my family and I was left with my broken heart and anger. Not a reaction you expect from a government or a judge.
That being said, did they deserve such a public outcry? Is Indonesia the worse state in the world to mistreat their population and kill their prisoners? Are they flogging and wiping their bloggers? Setting their women on fire? We are calling Indonesia a murderer state while doing everything possible to reinforce links with China.











Nobody seems to care that according to Amnesty International, China kills every year three times more prisoners than the rest of the world put together. No doubt that these prisoners deserve a second chance too, and many are likely to have not committed any crime beside opposing the government. Of course, these dying every day at our friends' place are not Australians, so why should we care...

I wish Australia were a bit more long sighted and less self centered; that they used this stories to discuss responsibilities of greedy drug producers, smugglers, dealers, vs the thousands of shattered lives.
I wish it had triggered discussions about the actual government cutting funding for associations that provide support to distressed families and addicts. The debate on death penalty might die shortly, now that no-one is left in the public eye. But the drug that did reach their target is still there, killing everyone just the same, including hundreds of Australians each year.

3- One of my coworkers explained me (3 times in a row because I didn't seem to be interested enough or to agree with her the first 2 times so she had to try her best to "convince me with true facts") that there were "so many more Jews in Germany at the end of WW2 than at the beginning of it, since all the nasty European countries expelled them there".
Funny enough, this website (and all others available on the internet) made me think that the Jewish population in Germany was down to ~30,000 in 1950, from half a million pre-war. And no, this was not the biggest community left in Europe, it's about 10 times less than In the UK, 8 times less than in France or Hungary. Do we really have to have this argument in 2015? My kids spend 7 hours a day at school, I wish they would learn something about the history of our world sometimes and not grow up to be such adults.

4- The Australian government has decided to cut funding to research, yet found 4 million dollars to support the creation of a novel center that will prove that global warming does not require action. The director is an eminent "global warming skeptic" but the center will be non-biased and provide neutral consulting to the government. Sure. At the same time when "we" decide to support coal and dump whatever byproducts on the reef,  sounds pretty reasonable to me. Given the amount of taxes I pay, it's safe to say that I'm directly supporting these projects, and I wish I were asked about it before the money was spent. Read here what Nobel prize winner and national pride Peter Doherty has to say about Australian's place in the climate debate.



Also about government money and public spending, Australian admins are so bad, that they overpaid everyone on welfare last year (don't worry, I'm sure that people who need it most didn't get any) then paid debt collators millions of dollars to recover the overpayment. I recently found out that Australians students can avoid reimbursing their student lawn if they stay overseas to work. Knowing that the government wants to cut funding to Universities and promote deregulation of the registration fees, it sounds like a bad joke for the students who stay or come back here, and are paying back their education.

5- I could discuss the penal system in Australia, but this is just too dark. And boring. Mostly dark.

So instead, I'm going to be upset at the fact that you can rent goats on Amazon, but amazon DOESN'T WORK IN AUSTRALIA. Online shopping is one of many other things that Aussies just don't get. Like food delivery, tips for waiters, free street parking, reasonably priced everything coffee, fashion (no, wall paper print is not vintage, it's just wrong), kid-museum exhibitions changing more than once a year, monthly rent, movies streaming, children parties not happening on Sunday at 10am, etc ...

Amazon were finally allowed to have an Australian website last year, but they sell nothing on it, like Kindle e-books only. How disappointing.
 
I'm going to leave you here so that you can mull over that cute goat and wonder how an entire nation can be so opposed to technology and the progress (and joy!) it would bring home.

10 reasons why we love Australians, and also why we don’t…

We love them ‘cause:

1- They have an awesome wildlife (fur seen everywhere, unfortunately including on quite a few human female legs), and they announce it with cool signs (not the legs, although you wished you'd be warned)

The beauties and the creepies... I've decided I've shown enough cute koalas and kangaroos. Time to get real ;)

2- Walking anywhere in Queensland, you always feel like a million bucks

3- Kids wear uniforms, some of them really cute.

4- There are 10 public holiday in a year, plus 4-5 weeks vacation, and if the holidays happens to be on a Sunday, then Monday is off to compensate.

5- They paint on their electrical street-cabinets (is there an official name for these boxes, people?), and it is fun.

6- They have crazy taste and you should always ask your Australian friends before picking the color of your new car, as long as you believe that owning a purple, pink, yellow or neon green car would make your life happier.

7- they make my cookies fancy by calling them "lovely biscuits"

8- It’s hot for Christmas

9- They speak good English

10- They have pubs (and food pub, and good beer)

We don’t (we still do, but we think they’re weirdos) ‘cause:

After 3months in hipster-land, even your kids lived in the 70s

1-   It’s hipster land. All guys are “metro” but from the 80s because vintage is best. As a result, and even if we can appreciate a well groomed man, they allow crazy stuff such as jeans shorts (skinny type) and overalls…. Hum…



2-   They don’t have any taste. As a grown-up female, you are supposed to dress like an old lady, or may I say an other-century lady. Or a w*. Or both (I forgot to say, they like mismatch).

No need to say that the leggings that you REALLY want to take a picture of are always to fast. Such a shame that I cannot share more real life with you... The middle pic doesn't make justice to the leather bat-part of the outfit...

3-   Adults don’t wear uniforms, and after you’ve read 1 and 2, you get it.

4-   They have trouble working

5-   It’s because they don’t learn s* at school

6-   Because of them, nobody knows anymore that I can make just plain-yummy cookies.

7-   They just invented the internet (like yesterday. Or tomorrow) => no online shopping

8-   They don’t have H&M

9-   They haven’t heard yet of free shipping. Or coupons code you can steal online and use at checkout. But it doesn’t matter because see #7, you don’t really want/can shop online.

10- I got downgraded from the “cute-french-accent girl” to “the girl I don’t understand”.

I easily return the favor on this point: having a normal conversation with a 72 years old lady (2 teeth left only) from Georgia or a crazy Cajun/ Voodoo sorcerer from the Bayou seems more reasonable (and feasible) than talking to some of the locals (just know that being called Far North Queenslander is considered as an insult here). I already said in 2 different occasions that I don’t speak English, using my best French accent; only to get rid of people I knew it would be a challenge to understand.

11-  Now that it’s finally summer in CT, I want to go to the pool with my friends. But I cannot because a- it’s wintertime; b- it’s 12k miles away.


Now, a little bit of mathematics (don’t worry, Australian level) so that you don’t draw the wrong conclusions.

There are 10 pro-points and 11 con-points, BUT: in the con-list, 1-3 get fused under general bad taste, 4 and 5 fall under the same umbrella of too much sun, and 6-11 are just a few examples (and reasons why) I miss the US so much.
So as usual, everything is mostly fine! Pfew! I thought we’d have to pack again :) Btw, we may hit the road sooner rather than later, but that’s a different story...

First trip to Sydney

You cannot stay put very long in science; there is always a travelling excuse around the corner (meetings, conferences, experiments) waiting for you to leave the bench and hit the road. My first Australian job-related journey took me to Sydney, to visit collaborators.
I don’t enjoy so much traveling for work anymore, or at least not as much as I used to. If it’s not an official vacation, I’d rather work in the comfort of my lab and office, then go back to my family at night. For this reason, I decided to jam my Sydney sightseeing into one full day (Sunday), while I’d be working on Monday, Tuesday, and be back in Brisbane Tuesday night, on time for the Easter weekend.
 
Sydney is a big city, but it CAN be done in one day if you really want or have to- although I’d suggest spending 2-3 days in Sydney itself, and some (a lot) more time to visit the beautiful NSW surroundings. So here is the plan, or how I did it.

8 AM: Departing Brisbane. Note that I went through security check with food, water, and shampoo in my carry on, and that nobody asked to see my ID before I checked into my hotel 10 hours later. It was as easy as catching a flight in the 80s.

9:30 AM: Landing in Sydney is very similar to landing in La Guardia for the 1st time, when you think that this damn pilot missed the turn and now you have to keep flying above the ocean for 20 minutes and no good reason.

10:30 AM: The airport train took me to Central Quay, after 30 minutes of waiting, one train change due to station remodeling and for AU$16. I chose Central Quay where I wandered on the piers, and from there I walked my way to the opera. Where I did take some lovely cliché- pictures, as expected of any good tourist in Sydney.

getting ready for a british wedding

11:30 AM: Entering the Royal Botanical Garden. This place is an ode to the British art of gardening. Luxurious, gigantic, peaceful: perfect.

Government house

The large areas of grass where you are invited by official signs to step and lie on, although you have to share it with birds; the hidden thematic gardens (the Asiatic one is so quiet and precious); the little kiosks and the garden's shop. From there, you also get a nice view on the harbor and the bridge. The garden is the nest of the government house, which you can visit for free (if you arrive on time; I didn’t). On the front porch, you can see the steps that helped the governor wives get in and out their carriage without effort. Now, how cool is that?

I also spent a good 15 minutes looking at the amazing bats flying around in the daylight.

1PM: stop for lunch in one of the numerous cafes of the garden, to enjoy a delicious shepherd pie and a diet coke (very hot day).

1:30PM: Heading toward the NSW art gallery. It’s free, except for the temporary exhibits, and I got to leave my heavy backpack at the coat rack (thanks god!!!). The collection is eclectic to say the least, and covers a broad range of French and British 18th-20th century classics, some interesting Aboriginal art, and some more recent acquisitions such as a Gilbert and George... I got lucky enough to see the art of 12th graders. I know exactly what you’re thinking now, so I dig up the website where you can read about the concept and about this year's winners.
I couldn’t take any picture since I had only my cell phone, flashlight of which I cannot deactivate, but go see for yourself: walkthrough the exhibit and let me know if they're good or what. The creativity and the talent of these 17 years-old kids totally deserve a spot in National Museum. 

From up there you see all Sydney

3PM: Taking detours through the city, I walked my way through crowded streets full of performers (from the gipsy/spanish guitar player to the acrobats) to the Observation tower. The view is nice from up there, but I was disappointed not to be able to go outside on the roof.

3:30PM: Walking my way back to Darling harbor through the city, and across the shopping strip. Darling harbor deserve its name, it's cute as can be and did remind me of SF or Montreal piers to a certain extend. Maybe because of the big war vessel, or is it the aquarium and the shops? Anyway, touristy, crowded, and yet cute. I did look for the Chinese garden that is supposed to be close-by but could not locate it.

5:50 PM: It started to get dark and I decided to head toward Darlinghurst before the rain would start. I arrived to a sweet little hotel (l'otel, very original name?!), where I got upgraded to a bigger room with a nice-size deck and free Internet; you have to appreciate a good surprise when you see one. 

7PM: applying lotion on my sunburns while writing my grants and my new blog entry.

7:30PM: out for early diner. I ended up in a small Japanese restaurant. Tiny and packed, it looked like a canteen, and I was the only non-Japanese face here, but for another girl with her Japanese boyfriend and a older guy with his Japanese family. The food there was cheap and delicious, and I regretted to be alone because I would have loved to share some rolls and sashimis. You know this memory of taste and smell, when you eat a candy that tastes like childhood? Well, this place tasted exactly like London 15 years ago, when I discovered Udons with Nico and Alex.

I’ve heard that you can dance your ass off all night in King's Cross, but I also read online that it can be very dangerous to do so. My danger tolerance considerably decreased about 20 years ago or so and has plateaued around -5% since then, so I decided against verifying myself whether the Internet reviewers are cowards or wise people. I have to say, I did hear from my opened windows the cops driving through the lively night till morning hours, and some people seemed to be having a good time out there. That being said, the Cross is quieter on a week night, and on Monday it looked more like Brooklyn than Harlem already.

follow up

First of all, I'd like to thank you all who are reading the blog. As it was brought to my attention very recently, not only my close friends are reading me. Yes I do post my blog on Facebook, but I never thought it would extend beyond the friends and family group. So thank for those who've spread the word and for taking the time to read my mood and thoughts... Of course it means even less pics of the kids in the future if possible, since I have no idea who's reading and I'm a paranoid mom ;)
Other than that, no change, it's cool.

Last time I've blogged about food, it did generate all kind of comments, reactions, and a general interest. I should have expected that, since everyone in my life appreciates good food. But it got me thinking, and in the interest of sharing, I've paid even closer attention to what we brought back home from grocery shopping and what we made with it.
First, I said I was eager to try some of the Australian treats that everyone told us about. So I went on a mission to select 2 flavors of Tim Tam (out of an entire supermarket aisle full of them!) and ended up picking chewy caramel (Tiare's special order) and mint dark chocolate. 

Both are close to the best thing that could possibly happen to a cookie biscuit. It is chewy, crispy, sweet but not overwhelmingly sugary, and the mint chocolate is so good that Antoine learned how to say Tim Tam in 5 seconds ("more Tim Tam, mommy?")

Totally worth the calories intake (count 100/piece, oh yeah!) and probably one of the best commercially available cookies.



During the same grocery shopping trip, I grabbed a pack of ANZAC (Australian and New Zealand Army something... Corp maybe?). Literally the war soldier biscuits, OMG! Excellent surprise I must say. It's like a coconut version of the ginger snap. And you have to love the packaging.

I also took my camera out of it's case for some Lamington pics. After trying the bar version, we had it's cube counterpart today. Pros: an even fluffier sponge cake, light as a cloud (!) Cons: obviously less chocolate-coconut per serving... Really delicious. There are some good and easy recipes for Lamington bars out there on the net, if you feel like trying something new, it may be your chance. I can see Kathy turning it into a Lamington cupcake (Kathy, please?).

And FYI, Australia makes the biggest packs of Weet Bix ever seen on earth. Tiare and I are not complaining about it, but it's still funny to meet one of these gigantic boxes.

And according to the package, being a Weet-Bix kid makes you an Aussie kid. Now that was easy :)

Note: 1- the look on Nic's face
2- our typically queenslandish kitchen...

This Saturday, we went to West End on our weekly market trip, spent some time listening to Irish music (St Patrick's day here too, obviously) while eating fresh cheese bread sticks and drinking good and freshly brewed coffee. For some reason, the Australian coffee always ranges between ok and good in a tasting scale, depending on where you get it, but is always, whatever the quality, more expensive than what you would pay for in Paris or even Manhattan. And everyone seems ok with that, go figure... Well, at least it's good.

We came back with loads of fresh veggies and fruits, including the delicious (and so pretty in pink, right?!) dragon fruit.

Next on the to-do list: prepare some jello-shots using the local flavors. Stay tuned!