Traveling with the kids 1/5

This Xmas break, we took as much time off as we possibly could.
After getting rid of all the day-off we're legally entitled to, we were able to book flights to Bali spanning 4 full weeks.
Let me rephrase that. After scouting the internet for the cheapest flights possible *keeping in mind that we wanted to fly with a relatively safe company*, we figured out that to fly low-cost without flying low-cost would require to stay clear from the blackout dates: Christmas and the first week of January.
Our first destinations of choice were Thailand and Borneo (Malaysia side) but the whether conditions, the price tag of jungle trips, and the determination of the in laws helped us decide to give up on potential Orang Outan encounters and elephant rides, and meet them in Bali instead. 

Image credit Mahi-Mahi Dewata

We got ridiculously cheap tickets for the entire family, then had to make in work with the days-off we had left. I did use 5 "personal days" that are supposed to be dedicated to move flat, try out the new nanny, pick up your in laws at the airport, or deal with similar personal events in your life that usually require 1/2 off. Since it's personal, don't ask me and keep walking why not use them all at once the way we like.

there is no ad on my blog, I just could not resist the romance being back

From the 19th of December to the 15th of January, we traveled to Bali mainland (Ubud-Sanur-Padangbay-Ahmed), and to Gili Trawangan, Lombock (just passing by), Nusa Lembongan. Spoiler alert: everything was awesome, with Sanur being our least favorite place to stay and the Islands being hands down the best ones.

Never underestimate the power of transport medication

 

 

 

We saw monkeys, buffalos, one snake, flying fishes, reef fishes, turtles, toads, birds, geckos, 12 temples, factories and handicrafts, balinese danses, night markets, took speed boats and slow ferries, bemo and cars, and each ate our weight worth of Nasi Goreng and nautamine tablets.

In summary: we took a break as long as if we were in between jobs, enjoyed it, and decided that Bali is one of the easiest and most enjoyable place you can go to with kids. Next post: what to do in Ubud!

Little Paquets in Paris- part 2: castles!

What is it to do in France beside eating and visiting museums?! Touring castles, of course!

France is not all about Versailles, and here is a list of castles worthy of a visit, if you're ever visiting Paris surroundings with your family. 

Life as a researcher...

It's doable! Yes, children do get properly raised by working parents, and can have a normal childhood and adult life when brought up by parents who work and enjoy it! Even if I'm the first to admit that science is not truly compatible with a completely normal life *whatever that means!*.

I thought I'd just put it out there, since I'm surrounded by critics and whingers. 
Postdoc complain that they work too much (welcome in science! how delusional can you be that it comes as a surprise?). They seem to imply that they're pulling all the work while students sit on their drunk ass all day long and PIs enjoy their tenured track and celebrate by vacationing on lab's money.
Housewives and part-time working mum think we're monsters to not spend all our time with our kids.

I will not comment too much on one or the other, as I don't have the energy after spending the best of my day juggling between writing an animal ethics modification and planning the next family Holiday (and it's way too hot to argue, damn Australian summer!).

I will however, just state once for good a couple of things. This way, if this post reminds you of some conversation we've had in the past, next time we meet you can avoid the topic and talk to me about your next vacation plans or the new fattening recipe you want to share with me instead?

1- biologists don't have kids by accident. I would not have two beautiful one if I didn't love them. Especially on our salary ;-) That being said, you can have kids if you're in science. I know as many great moms and dads in science than in other fields. If you think that you need to sacrifice your life for science, either you think you're on your way to Nobel Price and cannot be interrupted even to deliver, or you're making fake excuses and need to talk to your partner. Perfectly ok to like kittens better than kids, just be open about it.

2- working mums use their free time to work. You know, your daily hour of yoga and your afternoon tea with other moms? that's when I work, not when kids take a bath or do homework, or build legos, or tell you about their day and their friends, or at dinner time, neither during Spanish lessons or birthday parties. I do rarely (never?) sacrifice time with the kids to do anything for myself.

3- people who "want it all" are the biggest jerks of all time. There is 24hrs in a day for just everyone (maybe not for The Flash?), you're not so special that you can make tons of money, love your job,  enjoy life, and have tons of kids and kittens and puppies, and sleep well at night. Except if you marry super well I guess. So much for your "perfect balance". Doesn't mean we cannot be happy being slightly-imbalanced Mr and Mrs Random without being judged from all sides?!

4- Science is a vocation *not a job*, at least in the highest research positions. Fancy to look for a cure to cancer part-time?

A word of caution: When you breathe science full-time, your kids might become a bit nerdy. Be it!

My parents work but they still take me to the aquarium! OMG!

Wow, seems like kids really hate going to work! The vortex is SO boring!

Yep, that's a neuron tatoo!

Tiare wants to be a marine biologist when she grows up

And it's FINE!

 

Les Paquets a Paris- Part 1

We're in Paris until tonight! Four full weeks of vacationing in France (minus some light work) and one week in Spain for a super high profile conference. It feels good to go back to places you grew up in.

I've been really enjoying taking the kids to the playground and the toy boat area in the Luxembourg, drinking too much wine and coffee, and going for shopping sessions at le Bon Marche.

I'm not used to miss Paris, but it can only be because in the past when away from it I was either in London or one hour away from New York. Even New Haven had little cafes, good bookstores, good theaters, and amazing museums. Now that we live in the country side Brisbane, I certainly appreciate more than ever being in the city... Pariiiis!!!!!

There are so many things to do and so many places to go to. Here is a little selection of what to do with kids or at least what we did, not necessarily in this order.  1- Galeries d'anatomie comparee et paleontologie

La galerie d'anatomie comparee

 2- Le jardin des plantes and especially the Alpin garden (it feels like you're in the Alps for real if you're lucky enough to be there on a sunny day)

3- Les Invalides: Napoleon tombs and the Army Museum. Girls and boys alike will love this museum (and parents too!). There, you can see all kind of armors including those of the child kings, when they would reach the throne at 8-10 years old and had to represent. Antoine now wants to be a Prince, and possibly a Musketeer as well.

It was a bit of a shocker/ reality check for me to realize how little our children know about French and European history. This is to be expected as they are growing up overseas. But Tiare also knows very little about modern history, including the WW1 and 2, which is a bit more concerning as these are everyone's business on the planet...
Let's stop relying on school programs and teach more stuff at home!
I guess we'll use it as an excuse to make more frequent trips back to civilization in the future!

4- Gardens, parks and playgrounds are everywhere, just as in most European capital cities. Le jardin du Luxembourg is my absolute favorite and a must to do if you bring kids in Paris. There are puppet shows on Wednesday and weekend days, there is one of the best playgrounds in Paris, and plenty of very French things. I'll develop that in a later post!

We've done quite a few things while here, but I'm meant to pack the family bags and kiss goodbye today, not write blog entries! In the next day- or in the plane, I'll do my best to update our trip report ;-) In English for touristic attractions and in French for family news! So long everyone!

Oh F*! I have lupus

When I got my diagnostic, it felt as if my boat capsized. I had been feeling down for over a year.

Before that, I was told that I was depressed, and it sure felt like it. No energy, loss of hair, dark thoughts, piling up pounds while I was never snacking, I was a subbing teacher for pilates classes at the local gym and I was biking to work. None of these made sense.

I woke up tired and went to bed exhausted. I was not happy, and I was physically hurting. Calves like stones, pounding headaches, serious memory loss…

I did not tolerate the Australian sun and would wear rashes on my face all year round, with only weeks of recess. Then I got thyroid problems and they thought it was the key. Months of painful and costly analyses later showed that there was nothing to be fixed there.

Anyway. When I finally got diagnosed, I realized that all this time when I thought I wanted to put a name on my tiredness and my fake-looking symptoms, I was lying to myself. I wanted to be cured, I didn’t need to know what I had: I just needed the doctors to put a name on my disease so that it would come with a list of pills. And a manual for an easy fix.

Well, ironically enough, I got tested for the disease while in the USA but it came back negative. I guess my doctor got a good hunch and I was already starting it. I also have published on Lupus in the past, with my former boss Patrick and a medic research team from Yale. 

So I knew from day one that there is no cure. I also knew that the disease ranges from a simple skin bother to a life-threatening condition. Which one would be mine? I have a truly beloved husband, whom I’ve shared half of my life with now, and my entire grown up life. I have two little kids who need a lot of energy, no a lazy-‘cause-hurting, always-on-the-couch-with-a headache-mom. 

So my life capsized just like one of these little 420. You see the signs and know that might happen, and all of a sudden you’re in the water! And like these funny little boats, if you react quickly enough, you can turn around pretty easily. Just push through, you get a bruise on your arm but you can breathe again. And in no time you’re back on your way. Although I have a rather severe form of Lupus, I am very fortunate to also have the kind that works with flares and remissions episodes. I’m mostly ok, and only sometimes really bad.

My doctors are great and found me drugs that not only help me with the symptoms but also don’t have any side effect. Another wonder presented to you by medical research! I have resume attending Yoga classes, and teach more pilates classes to keep my muscles strong and slow down nerve damage. I’ve learned to stay home and go back to bed when I need to. 

Nicolas is a champ and helps me to get through anything. Talking through what’s happening, being a great dad and posing as the family chauffeur since we arrived in Australia. I didn’t like driving a stick on the left before, but now that I’ve lost my deep-vision, I’m even a worse driver and a potential liability on the road. Nico deals with my students when I have headaches or worse and I’m stuck in bed. 

When I’m not sick, I feel fine. When I’m sick, I’m grateful to know remission will come. I’ve read about Lupus patients who have been in remission for 15 years and I’m hoping to become one of them.

Autoimmune diseases are really cruel ones. Attacking your own body is not cool, and no fun. Having two friends affected by multiple sclerosis, I think a lot about MS patients. While some go through much-welcome remission phases like I do with my Lupus, others only go worse gradually.  But with time, it always gets worse for both categories. They cannot turn their boat back up, or not that easily anyway. But researchers make serious progress on auto-immune disease these days. Fancy a donation? MS is a great research cause… Just saying.